by Scott Brabant, Board Chair of Mental Health Connecticut
Today, May 7th, is National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day. The official recognition of this day began approximately 15 years ago and sought to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health and show that positive mental health is essential to a child’s healthy development. From my personal experience, I firmly believe a strong family unit is essential to nurture and promote a strong mental health foundation for a child, providing the ammunition necessary to face difficult challenges and decisions with less anxiety.
Why is family time important? First, it helps to build a stronger bond with your family. It is important to make time to talk and listen. You are able to show affection, appreciation and encouragement while creating family rituals, traditions and memorable experiences that can carry forward generations. Second, it allows you to instill family values in your children including accepting differences in each person and to teach your children important lessons in life. Family time could involve individual activities and face to face time, not just group activities that involve the whole family.
For me, the importance of having a strong family unit on a child’s mental health was something I learned later in life and did not experience first hand growing up. You see, I am the product of a broken home. My parents had an estranged relationship and eventually divorced. I was a “latch-key” kid who in addition to working hard academically in and out of school had to often prepare dinner and look after a younger sibling. When my parents were home they were often disengaged. I never felt like they took an interest in anything I did. Whether it was celebrating academic achievement, or participating in youth and high school sports, my parents were always absent. For me, the only celebration, and support for that matter, would come from a few, select friends. My biggest fear becoming an adult was how I would be able to have a stable relationship and build a family. Naturally, I was concerned not having a model environment to emulate.
Throughout the years, I adopted many of the characteristics of families of close friends I perceived were healthy in order to create a positive family environment of my own. What I missed growing up was the feeling of having someone love you unconditionally in spite of your shortcomings. Family is loving and supporting one another even when it’s not easy to do so. It’s being the best person you could be so that you may inspire your loved ones.
I think for me the most important thing I learned was to just to “be there” for my wife and children. Over the years, I have immersed myself in the lives of my family. My wife and I to this day still have a weekly “date night,” which usually consists of ordering out from one of our many favorite local restaurants and eating on TV tray tables in front of recorded, regular shows we had missed during the week. I actually counted the other day that I must have hit my 1,000th Saturday pickup over our 26-year marriage. This regular connection allows us to stay in touch with each other and the lives of our kids. Additionally, I have been a Little League baseball and youth basketball coach, a golf instructor, a math and writing tutor in addition to a proverbial “ATM” and “taxi driver.” A good friend of mine once told me that the most important time in youth sports was the “ride home” after an event. Your child could either be vulnerable after a frustrating loss or poor performance or even get over confident after a win. You needed to be mindful of the situation, and just listen, offering selective encouragement without being overly critical. I have also really enjoyed spending quality time with my sons on college visits. I have learned so much about them becoming young adults – their dreams, their goals both personally and professionally. I have also cherished the many vacations we have had, exploring new places and cultures, with our together time solidifying our family bond even more. I believe this strength of our bond created by our togetherness has enabled two of my older sons to move away to explore new lives and challenges having comfort in knowing they can always return if things don’t work out as planned.
The value of this time either individually or together as a family has been truly invaluable to me and my family’s overall mental health, especially lessening anxiety that develops with challenging situations. Having the strength of others to lean on has been an invaluable resource and I have been fortunate enough to share that strength with my own family.
Happy #FUNdraiserFriday!
To support Scott in reaching his goal of raising $5,000 for #31DaysofWellness, visit: https://mhconn.networkforgood.com/projects/129114-scott-brabant-s-fundraiser. To become a fundraiser and join us in our collective goal of raising $31,000, visit www.mhconn.org/31k.
Scott Brabant is MHC’s Board Chair and a First Vice President with People’s United Bank, working in the Business Transformation Office, specifically focused on modernizing the Bank’s systems and improving the customer and employee experience. He has been with People’s United Bank since 2015, most of his tenure serving as Chief Financial Officer of People’s United Insurance Agency which was sold to Assured Partners in 2020. People’s United Bank is a Gold Toolkit Sponsor for #31DaysofWellness and we are honored to have their continued support.
