Day #26: Purpose

Sean Smedley and Luis Perez talk “Purpose”
Earlier this month, MHC Board of Directors member Sean Smedley sat with MHC’s President & CEO Luis Perez to talk about today’s self-care tool, Purpose. Did you know that Purpose is one of the four pillars of recovery? Learn how this self-care tool has made an impact from today’s speakers and share your purpose on social media @MentalHealthCT.

What moves you? What motivates you? What keeps you going when all you want to do is throw in the towel? What is your purpose?

To find one’s purpose, you have to explore your reason, intention, feeling, aim, and personal goals. I’ve gone on this journey many times and ask you to join me as I share how my purpose has evolved and impacted my mental health.

Reclaiming a Lost Purpose
Six years ago I was trusted to care for a loving, adorable little puppy. He lived with my sister for 8 years and after moving they were unable to keep him in their new home so I took him in. My once fur nephew became my fur baby and my new purpose. Taking care of him, ensuring he was healthy, happy, and loved was my main purpose in life. He had a heart condition and needed extra medical care and attention. I adjusted my daily routine around his meals, medication, and walks and kept him at the top of my priority list every day. In return, I received the love and companionship I will always treasure. He lived to be 15 years old and we had to say goodbye to him in April of this year. When he left, I lost my purpose. I felt as though I lost myself.

As someone who has struggled with depression for most of my adult life, the grief I felt brought some difficult days. I wasn’t doing well with managing my symptoms and I reverted into “auto pilot” mode. I went through the motions of day to day life but didn’t feel motivated. I wrapped up so much of my purpose in caring for this little guy that when my last act of care for him was complete, I didn’t know what to do next. It wasn’t until my mother reminded me of an idea I had about creating a garden that I started to crawl out of the void. We created a tribute garden in memory of my fur baby. Planning, purchasing plants, spending days transforming an overgrown patch of my side yard into a beautiful garden bed gave me something to do. Doing something for him was a large part of my life for so long, I needed to feel that again. I found a way to keep my purpose. Now, I tend to that garden everyday just as I would spend time caring for my fur baby. While it will never be the same, taking time in my garden, watering my plants, even pulling stubborn weeds all gives me a feeling of purpose. This was a step in the right direction to finding my purpose again.

Shared Purpose
In navigating through the past month and coping with the grief of losing my little guy, I looked to others for motivation to keep moving forward in reclaiming my purpose in life. Gardening is great, but there’s more to me than that. I just needed to remind myself again. I looked to work for answers and found that I have the honor of working with a dedicated group of individuals. Specifically, the MHC Equity, Social Justice & Antiracism (ESJA) Advisory Committee. Our team of 12 has met monthly since August 2020 with a mission to identify and create solution-based recommendations to the Executive Team to improve MHC’s work culture with a focus on social justice, cultural humility, and equity for staff, program participants, and the communities we serve. This group was formed out of necessity to take a stand against the injustices that plague our community. Racism is a public health crisis and the time to act is now. Following the death of George Floyd in 2020, I approached MHC’s Executive Team with the idea of creating the committee and received unanimous approval to start it. Since then, we’ve committed to being an Antiracist organization, established a monthly learning collaborative for staff to discuss topics such as oppression, bigotry, racism, and privilege in a safe and brave space, and invested in cultural humility education for all employees. With this additional focus on MHC’s work culture, our shared purpose is an extension of MHC’s mission to create environments that promote long term health and wellness. Being able to share this purpose with my fellow co-workers is inspiring and reaffirms my commitment to personal growth and making an impact in society.

The Person I’m Trying to Become
According to Webster’s Dictionary, one of the definitions of Purpose is “what a person is trying to do, become.” So I ask myself, who do I want to become? What is my purpose? Since I was a kid, I’ve always enjoyed reading about history. As a mixed race woman, I made it my mission to learn about every country my ancestors came from, yet through this journey, I became curious about all cultures and found myself expanding my education to a variety of backgrounds. While unfocused, the pursuit of broadening my historical knowledge was one I enjoyed. This personal goal was a long standing purpose for me. But was this enough to fulfill my broader purpose? What could I do with this knowledge? In the words of Maya Angelou, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

In 2020, I spent a lot of time on self-reflection to prioritize my goals. In looking at the world around me I realized I needed to do more, I needed to “do better.” Learning was not enough. So I started the MHC ESJA Advisory Committee, I enrolled in a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion certificate program through the University of Florida, I wrote to my legislatures to advocate to declare racism a public health crisis, I submitted to present on a national level around the importance of creating workplace DEI groups (and got accepted), and I began a new chapter on the journey of becoming the person I want to be.

In sharing this, I have another purpose. I hope that by sharing my personal story I can inspire others to take the time to look inward, reflect on your own reason and take that purpose with you in your self-care toolkit. Hold tight to it, let it motivate you to do better, be better, and make a difference.