Compassion Offers Comforts in Times of Need
by Scarlett Lewis

“Being there for another is the essence of compassion.”

Compassion has a unique ability to bring us together during the loneliness and isolation of ‘social distancing.’ Compassion is identifying with the pain and discomfort of another and then actively doing something to help ease the suffering.

When my six-year-old son, Jesse, was murdered in the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy, the world came together in compassion. It was incredibly healing for everyone as individuals from all over united with the victims’ families in their grief. The volume of mail overwhelmed post offices — tens of thousands of teddy bears filled rented warehouses and handmade quilts and scarves poured in. It was all sent with love and heartfelt compassion.

Knowing that you are not alone in your pain and being comforted in the company of others is the essence of compassion. This is what helps us not only get through difficult times but to also grow and be strengthened by them.

We at Mental Health Connecticut thank Scarlett for sharing her experience with compassion today for #31DaysofWellness and encourage our followers to take this lesson and reflect on how you can utilize this kindness as a self-care tool. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to turn that kindness inward and show self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion today and every day. Learn how you can practice Self-Compassion below.

Self-Compassion and Our Inner Critic
by: Dr. Brandon Nappi

You know the voice that tells you that you are not enough in 1,000 different ways? “You are not smart enough, attractive enough, wise enough, funny enough, confident enough…” It’s the voice that says, “Who are YOU to do THAT?” It’s the voice that convinces us we are safer if we hide ourselves away and keep ourselves small. We create layers of armor to protect ourselves from being seen. The inner critic can feel like a shameful secret.

For many of us, the pandemic has been a time to do some important soul-searching and truth-telling about our lives. Perhaps in the quiet, you’ve heard another voice inviting you to choose a different path, one of authenticity, acceptance, compassion, and radical self-care. Lately, I’ve been sitting with these questions: What energy might be freed up and rechanneled if we weren’t battling an inner tyrant? How can these soul-stretching days also be a time for some important inner work? Maybe you too feel like it’s time to stop fighting. It’s become so clear to me that all fears can be boiled down to one single fear–the fear of not being enough. We fear we are not ready enough, smart enough, attractive enough, popular enough, healed enough, good enough, etc. For most people, the marching band of “not enough” will parade its way down the main street of your headspace several times a day without your permission. You’ll convince yourself that you will never be ready to move forward in your life. The repetitive stream of “not enough” seems like a thoroughly convincing and a completely accurate summation of our innermost value. We conclude we are broken beyond repair and settle for strategies to hide this painful truth from others for as long as we can. Yet, new possibilities open when we realize that this voice is a FICTION.

Mindfulness practice develops in us the capacity to watch our inner dialogue with curiosity, nonjudgment and nonattachment. What this voice says is simply not the truth, at least it’s not the FULL TRUTH. It’s the ultimate FAKE NEWS. Your inner critic has power only to the degree that you surrender your power to it. So, here’s a practice for working with the inner critic when you are amid an important decision:

  1. 1. Observe with curiosity and non-judgment.
  2. 2. Offer yourself compassion.
  3. 3. Remember you don’t need a plan.
  4. 4. Just take the next step.
  5. 5. Repeat. And repeat again and again.

You are not alone. Our community at Copper Beech Institute is breathing with you.

On May 24, Copper Beech presented a session entitled “Self-Compassion and Our Inner Critic” where we enjoyed a gently guided practice to soothe our weariness and anchor us in our deepest values. If you missed this session, you can view the recording below:


 

Dr. Brandon Nappi is a spiritual teacher, speaker, and writer who passionately believes in the capacity of the human spirit to awaken. Inspired by the common wisdom of the world’s spiritual traditions, he has dedicated his life’s work to sharing the transformative power of mindfulness practice. He founded Copper Beech Institute in 2014 and is the institute’s executive director.

Did you know?
Did you know that the human brain reacts more intensely to negative events than it does to positive ones and is more likely to remember an insult than praise? Our national affiliate, Mental Health America, has put together an informative site dedicated to getting out of thinking traps that hold us back and keep us stuck in negativity. Check out their tips for challenging negative thoughts at https://mhanational.org/getting-out-thinking-traps.